i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
