i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
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