I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
