i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
