Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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