I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
