i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
