well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
