Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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