The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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