Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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