great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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