Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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