I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize