after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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