My cat gives me a boner
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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