i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
