Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize