He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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