the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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