You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
