I'm really into asian looking animals
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize