fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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