I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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