if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
