So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize