Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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