The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
