ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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