I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
