Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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