I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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