i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
