I am puke
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
