Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
