I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
