Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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