Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
