So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
