I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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