It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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