Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
