is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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