My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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