with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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