You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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