Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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