so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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