sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
