Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
