Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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