Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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