Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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