Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
