We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The power of my boobs compel you
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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