You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
