yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
