I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
